The Most Adventurous thing YET!

I have no idea how to begin this blog post other than quoting the very end of Ephesians 3. "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

This is exactly how I feel every time God knocks me off my feet with His plan instead of mine. It's amazing how I can get so caught up in the mind set that God needs me. He needs my attitude to be perfect for people to get saved, he needs my prayers to be constant for something to actually happen, or in this case, he needs my health to be perfect to conceive a child.


Though ALL of those things (attitude, prayer, health) are EXTREMELY important, we ALL know that God can work in spite of them. PRAISE THE LORD. So with this in mind, I wanted to share with you my health journey.

I want to start with when I first got married. Blake was such an awesome provider and cared about my comfort at our new home in Cordova, AL. He worked as an insurance agent and was gone a LOT... we're talking from 8-9 in the morning to 8-9 at night. I really tried to adjust well and do things around the house but I was a little lonely. THEN if you read in my "Adventures #2" blog you already know that fear took over my life in the beginning of our marriage. Bless Blake's heart... he's already had to deal with so much.

PROPS TO THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD

Okay, continuing...


My point for explaining all of this is that I began to notice some weight gain. It wasn't dramatic, just a few lbs really, but enough to make me a little self conscious. Because of my fear and because I was in an unfamiliar area I didn't feel comfortable getting out and walking by myself. -Pause- if you have not read my 2nd blog post I urge you to do so -Unpause-. Blake ends up quitting the insurance company and we move to Eldridge.. closer to my fears. I definitely did not feel comfortable getting out and walking!

So the weight gain kept on and kept on that Fall (2010). Finally, the next March (2011), I was getting my bridesmaids dress fitted over the phone for a dear friends wedding and when I gave her my measurements she insisted they were wrong. I don't blame her! I had doubled in size since she last saw me! So that exact day I went and got a gym membership. I worked my TAIL off March, April, and May. I saw only a few pound difference so I was already discouraged. Then the worst school semester of my life was that summer. I took 5 classes and 2 of them were 3 hours away. The workload was way too much to handle. Believe me when I say I would begin working on my school work at 8 a.m. and work until 10 or 11 p.m. I was the most stressed I had ever been in my entire life. So stressed that I started seeing heat waves.. My mom told me that that was me having an ophthalmic migraine. She was really concerned and told me that I HAD to relax.

Truthfully, it wasn't just school that was taking a toll on me but my weight kept going up and up. My relationship with the Lord became almost nonexistent because I didn't feel worthy... physically, mentally, emotionally, NOTHING. It was a very sad place to be.

***WARNING*** If you are a guy and are uncomfortable with the words "menstrual cycle" PLEASE do not read on! ALSO NOTE: Our entire marriage we have used zero contraceptives. I need to make that point to show you how God provides when HE sees fit!

I began having many, many health issues. I had to have a colonoscopy in October 2011 because of abnormal bleeding, I had not had a menstrual cycle since May 2011, and my weight was continually rising and rising.

After my colonoscopy came back showing that stress triggered lots of things I knew it was time I got on my knees and remember where my strength comes from. I was completely empty and had nothing to give to god but He restored my soul. I'll never forget that Fall. He held me closely and lead me down a path of renewal in His word and ways. That was my first step in my "healthy lifestyle".

That December I started going back to the gym.

In January 2012, I went to the doctor about my absence of a mentrual cycle. I learned that I have something called PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome). I had ALL of the symptoms. No periods, weight gain, not able to lose weight, hair loss, low estrogen levels, etc. The doctor explained that my body was producing more of the male hormone than the female hormone. I was not getting enough of the female hormone to ovulate, resulting in an absent menstrual cycle. With producing more of the male hormone my body's insulin was at max and was turning it into fat (explaining the dramatic weight gain). He gave us a couple of options to go with and we felt like God was leading to take the female hormone pill called Provera.

Oh my gosh... if you ever thought I was mean, I was really mean when I was on this medication!

So we went through a round of that in February 2012, had a menstrual cycle, went back to the doctor 21 days later to check my hormone levels and they were rock bottom. I didn't lose hope because I knew it may take more than once. So we tried again in April and had even worse results. My progesterone was at a 0.08 or something like that. It was crazy low!

I was also working out 3-4 times a week. I "up'd" my pace and started running.

The doctor told us there was nothing else they could do unless we were ready to try fertility drugs or go to an endocrinologist. He said because of my mom having to use fertility drugs and me having the same issues that I would most likely not be able to conceive without fertility drugs. We prayed and prayed about it and just felt as though we needed to wait. I told Blake that I had been praying a lot about it and I was going to see if God would give me a period (on my own without drugs) for 2 months in a row (Being May and June) before I called the other doctor to check out my pituitary glands.

Meanwhile, I was involved in a bible study at our church. We were going through the book "Made To Crave".. I highly suggest it to anyone who has dealt with the same issues as I have! I finally began losing some weight and before I knew it I had dropped nearly 20 lbs! This was a miracle considering I heard it was impossible to lose weight having PCOS, without diet pills. I was feeling SO good, too!

Left: August 2011 Right: June 2012

Come May 10, 2012 the flood gates had opened! It was truly a miracle! I couldnt believe my eyes! But it doesn't stop there!!! COME JUNE 15, 2012 THEY OPENED UP AGAIN! Me and Blake were just completely floored with what the Lord was doing in my health... Spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally! It was amazing!

I remember, the entire time I was infertile, my prayer was "God, I want to be healthy for the glory of you through my future children." There was no doubt in my mind that God would give us children.... We just thought it would be several years from now...

LOW AND BEHOLD::::::

July came around and no period... I thought my health was failing again. Then, July 27, 2012 Blake said "just go in there and take a test"... Me, having taken DOZENS of tests thought "whatever, I just took one a couple of weeks ago and it was negative.. but I have an extra one so why not."

Then there were two lines...

I immediately began to do the ugly cry... then I started hyperventilating... then I threw up. I could NOT believe it. Blake was laughing at me!! I was really beside myself! TOTALLY unexpected.

Then we had to wait and tell everyone after Blake's lovely sisters wedding! This is me with my parents, keeping a HUGE secret!

So finally at midnight I told my parents!! Mom didn't get the onsie at first.. Then she looked at me and began to BAWL! It was definitely a special moment!

So to all of my friends dealing with tough situations in your life DONT GIVE UP! Hebrews 10:35-36 says "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." I don't feel like I took these steps to "receive" things from God but rather to be obedient knowing that it was up to Him whether He would bless us with a child. I am so confident is my Almighty God and His promises.

He is so so so so good. He works all around you! Even though you can't see it, can't feel it, and even feel defeated, He is working all things to the good of those who love Him according to his purpose.

Now I ask, as my first trimester is wrapping up, that you would pray with me. Pray that people would read the stories of mine and Blake's life and see that we are weak but Christ is strong. God is so faithful in the small and in the great. Also pray for the life of our child. We realize that ANYTHING could happen... Our anthem for all of this is that God CAN sustain this life, He WILL sustain the life, but even if he doesn't He is still God and we will still worship and praise Him! We aren't worried in the least bit about my pregnancy because we are so confident in the Maker and Sustainer of life.

Here is a song that has been very near and dear to my heart through all of this. Please take a moment to listen:

Thank you SO much for taking time to read my blog post. I love you all and pray that my story will encourage you!

The Adventures of the Courington's PART 2

Okay...


So most of you know how much we love adventure. My favorite TV shows are the shows that keep you on your seat. We are all about doing fun and crazy things... These things range from wearing red lipstick to driving across the country at midnight.


Unfortunately, in little bitty Eldridge, Alabama there's not much adventure and we're not able to just "go" like we used to be able to. We're grown ups now and have to make sure we are responsible. This is what we told ourselves anyways as we accepted the pastor position at Eldridge Baptist Church.


So on the day we decided to calm down and become responsible I (Kayse) remember thinking "Oh great. There goes my fun in life." I thought that because through most of the crazy and spastic things I have done I have learned huge, I mean HUGE lesssons in life. Particularly those from God Himself. I guess that's why I get a thrill out of doing things out of the ordinary. Because God is definately NOT the ordinary.


I guess since we couldn't partake in any adventure, the adventure just HAD to come to us. I could have never dreamed we would have this much adventure by being at a 140 year old church that is made up of many older, sweet, gentle, people.


And was I wrong... Let me share with you my first adventure of Walker County.


It was about three or four weeks into our wonderful marriage on a Sunday afternoon at one of our SWEETEST members of our church's home. I will keep her unnamed just for the sake of mystery! I will tell you a little about her though. She has 10 CHILDREN. I REPEAT 10 CHILDREN.


Whoo.


So we were over there one afternoon visiting with the entire family and eating lunch. It was about that time when everyone was finished eating but some were sitting in the dining room drinking coffee, some were sitting on the front porch discussing sundays sermon and the kids were outside playing.


Me and Blake were at the dining room table drinking coffee with several of the family members when we see a girl limping up to this ladies house. I have to look twice to see what's going on. One of her eyes were as big as a baseball and she was crying and scared. My first reaction is to look away. I thought maybe she had been in a car accident or something. I quickly found out that someone had done this to her. Luckily one of the granddaughters is a nurse and she goes back to keep this girl alive and awake. There was a little bit of comotion because one of the family members were having flashbacks of when it happened to them. So quickly, I put my big girl pants on and said "Okay, Lord. I have to be here for YOU and for My husband. Needless to say my husband who fears nothing was already in the bathroom praying with this girl. MMM Gotta love him!


So I march in there and begin to examine for myself what was going on. She had two horizontal slits on her neck from a knife. That was enough to tell me that whatever was going on was serious. She had been stabbed in her cheek, back of the head, and right by her collar bone. My heart sank as I watched this girl being to pass out. The nurse of them family was keeping pressure on her major wounds but she was still losing a LOT of blood. Blake begins to ask her questions about her family to keep her from passing out. Unfortunately they were questions that made her very upset and caused her to cry harder which used more energy. We needed the energy she was using to cry to keep her from passing out. I watch as her head goes back and her eyes rolling in the back of her head and think "Oh my goodness. We're losing her." At that moment I throw on my Barbara Walters 20/20 face and start asking her a TON of irrelevant questions. First question was "What is your favorite food?" BAM I got a smile and she replied "Lasagna." We began to talk about lasagna and kept on asking her to stay with us. We asked her a few more silly questions and the ambulance FINALLY showed up.


Let me remind you... We live in the middle of nowhere. We have no police jurisdiction and definitely no ambulance service.... That's why it took the EMT's so long to get to where we were. 


They came in and began to ask her different questions. I really don't think they understood how bad she was bleeding... but... Who knows.. maybe they see this stuff all the time.


Sure enough they get her into the ambulance and she begins to hemorage. If you don't know what they means then look it up! It was NOT good. 


Everyone in that house sat back and took a deep breathe. I'm sure most everyone was thinking "What on earth just happened and did we really witness this?" 


Blake and I call it an afternoon and decide to leave our sweet member's home. I told Blake that I needed something to calm my nerves so we headed to Jack's to get a milkshake. I will never forget the taste of that milkshake. That was probably the last milkshake I will ever have, too.


Oh.. and the story does not end there.. No, no, no. 


Blake and I get back to the church around 4:30 to get ready for Discipleship Training at 5. We hear a helicopter... Let me say this again.. We are in the middle of nowhere. The only other type of transportation that is used out in these parts is a train. We were very surprised to hear and see the helicopter go over the church.


Come 5'oclock we hear from some of our members that the man who stabbed this woman so many times had hung himself.... AND LIVED.... THAT WAS WHERE THE HELICOPTER WAS GOING TO! WHAT??????? HE LIVED????? 


He was on his way to the SAME hospital as the young lady he did all of that stuff to.


Talk about a wild and crazy Sunday. After that Sunday I fell into this deep valley and was scared of every little thing. Blake was still selling insurance and was out until sometimes 9 or 10 pm. I am in this new location, no friends or anything. I am scared to death sitting inside our itty bitty house jumping at every "off" sound. I stayed inside for the majority of the day and even when I went outside to check the mail you would think I was James Bond 007 or something rolling on the concrete making sure no one knew I existed so no one would come and cut me up like the girl in Eldridge.


This fear drove my life for several weeks. My sweet husband was so understanding and so sensitive to the emotions that I was dealing with.


I know I sound completely crazy for being this fearful but you just had to have been there. I have never seen anything like that in my entire life... I had never even heard of anything like that happening unless it was on the Memphis news.. and even that was rare. AND I was a Criminal Minds fanatic. So of course I tried to analyze the guy who did this and came to the conclusion he was after me next because I was a part of saving the girls life.


Thankfully, God did not keep me in that place of fear. 


Several weeks after we had experienced this crime Blake preached a message out of Ephesians. It was Ephesians 4 to be exact... If you've never read the book of Ephesians then stop reading this and go do so. It is so rich in truth... Well.. the whole bible is, really.


Okay. Ephesians. While he was preaching Ephesians 4 he made reference to 1 Corinthians

“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
(1 Corinthians 15:55 ESV)


He was referring to that later part of Ephesians 4 on how we as Christians walk now that we are a new creation... 


All of the sudden it hit me... Christ did not die so I could walk around scared of every person in Walker County. He died so that I may be saved and share the glorious gospel to the people around me. How am I doing that if I am scared of death? And more importantly WHY am I scared of death? 


As a Christian, death is a bittersweet thing. Truth is "to be absent with the body is to present with Christ" so death does not hurt.... yea sure... I may have physical pain at the end of my life but as far as death itself it has no victory over me and it has no sting. I can't even feel it because as soon as I die I will be present with my Creator... My Savior... My Everything. 


So a million things were going through my feeble little mind. I know who Jesus is and I know the power He has over death... I had to come to grips with the fact that a SOUL is more important than my life. I was extremely challenged that day. It's like God was telling me I had nothing to be scared of because I am HIS. So no matter what ended up happening to me I will always be in His arms


We ended up moving to Eldridge that October. It was a very bold step seeing as how we are 100 yards from the person who did all of this to that girl.. Oh.. and we found out no charges were made and they were back together.

Here is us in front of our house OUTSIDE! 


You can tell that Blake just LOVES pictures. Man he's foiiiiiine! 


So... to wrap it up...


A few months after we moved in I got a knock at the door. It was a sweet couple that asked if they could borrow my phone. Of course I said yes.. and as most of you know.. I never have it with me so I had to hunt for it! Blake was in the back and I told him to come to the door and he said "Hey guys" (and said their names). I froze. I could not even breathe. I couldn't believe it was really them. I did not recognize her and I had never even met him. Here comes that fear again.


I hurried to the back and prayed that God would remind me that death has no sting... and that these people need Jesus more than they need anything in this entire world. 


Needless to say, after that day of meeting them I have gotten a little better. They have come to the house several times since, we've given them a ride to Jasper, and they've even came to our church twice. 


These two individuals have stolen mine and Blake's heart. We know without a doubt they are struggling with drugs... big time... but want them to see the grace of God through us because their souls are worth it to us. We've had many conversations about the "what if"  scenarios and we both agree that even through something tragic we will love them. 


It is so important to love people despite their faults. Even when it's against you. Think about Jesus... He loved us... even though we continuously drive His name into the dirt. I know, I know... God is also about justice...  I know this.. BUT justice was done at the Cross. Am I right? 


I believe God is sovereign and knows exactly why he had Blake and I go through that... He has a plan for us living 100 yards from both of them.. He knows why they choose to come to us. Will we get taken advantage of? Yes.. more than likely. Will we get frustrated with them because they just aren't getting it? Yes. Often. But is God's grace greater than their sin and worth all of it? You bet. 


So think about the people in your life that are hard to love and encourage and LOVE THEM ANYWAY. Not for YOUR sake and for YOU to feel good... but for the love and grace of Christ to shine through you. It's all for HIS glory and His name's sake.


Now go read Ephesians 4!